from the "8 Things that Hipsters Love About L.A. that Actually Suck" series
Here's how the call went:
Waiter (on phone): Cafe 101.
Me: Yeah I'd like to place an order for take out.
Me: Okay I'd like a Denver omelette.
Waiter: We don't have Denver omelettes.
Waiter: I said we don't have Denver omelette. None of our omelettes have names, you just have to tell me what you want.
Me: Oh...um...okay, then I'd like some cheese, onion, avocado, tom-
Waiter: We don't have avocado.
Me: You don't?
Waiter: No. We Don't have avocado.
Me: This is California right?
Waiter: Look, what else do you want?
Me: I want you to go fuck your sister.
Let me tell you something about Cafe 101, the place sucks. Don't get me wrong, the food is average- but you will never, and I mean NEVER get service with a smile. I'm serious, it's like Jack Nicholson in Five Easy Pieces up in there. Sure, I know, you love it because Swingers was filmed there, or because it's a greasy spoon, or you're caught up in the Hollywood hype and you're a loser. Well none of those things make up for the wait staff- excuse me- failed actors who "attend" to you. I don't care what time of day it is, what you order, or who you are, you're gonna get treated like shit. And yet, there's still a line of ripped jeans and no socks, of Technicolor sunglasses, well-groomed mussed up hair and tight-fitting 70s style T-shirts hanging around outside smoking Camels and begging for a table.
Seriously, there are better places.
You want better service with a Holly-grunge flair- go to Fred 62's. Or better yet, ditch the hoi polloi hipster and go to Armon's in Eagle Rock. Hash browns that will blow your mind and all the avocado you can eat! No substitutions though.
photos from Highway 101 between Santa Cruz and Los Angeles.