Showing posts with label Simona. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Simona. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Ambaca


To get to Ambaca (pronounced Ambatha), a guy in a mini-van with a busted rear windshield picks you up at your Nadi hotel and takes you to his pad in Lautoka.  Then you hop in the bed of a covered 4x4 pickup and some other dude, who is always late I might add, drives like a maniac up a dirt road, across a river and into the mountains for about 40 minutes while you carom off the roof and quarter panels.  On the way back (last photo) some of the villagers who want to go into Lautoka, one of which is a toddler whom they sit on a plastic bucket, hitch a ride with you.  It’s safe, in the sense that you’re not going to get mugged or get eaten by a lion.

We stayed at the home of the village chief’s brother, which was basically one big room with a curtain dividing it in half (like a loft but on the ground).  Inside the home, one chicken was motionless in the corner as she waited for her eggs to hatch, while another hung out inside a crate with her own chicks not more than a few hours old. 

At night I was not invited to church at 7PM.  The day we were there it was the men’s day to attend mass and then afterwards they stayed up till 5AM drinking Cava and bonding.   I wasn't invited to that either.  I was however, in attendance when the women of the village came over.  We had our own Cava ceremony.

In the morning we took a shower in a concrete closet located about 40 yards from the house and filled with spiders on webs.  The water was diverted from the nearby river and was of the unheated variety. 

Needless to say it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.










Thursday, November 03, 2011

May Day Rally 2010


I think it's delicious that Georgia's and Alabama's stern stance against undocumented workers has resulted in BILLIONS of dollars in lost revenue to the states due to there being no one to pick their crops.

Having said that I don't like the connotation that the only job Mexicans are qualified for is picking crops.

Two notes on these photos, they were taken last year at the May Day Rally and I don't really know exactly how much fiscal damage this crisis has actually caused, but a billion dollars sounds like a pretty big number so there you are.

(click on the photos and make them bigger.
They're meant to be viewed full-sized.)









Sunday, August 08, 2010

Flowers

So, plant genitalia. What can I say about them that hasn’t already been said. A rose by any other name would be testicles. Gives new meaning to what you’re supposed to stop and smell every once and a while.

But still, they’re pretty and everyone loves them. Simona and I went to the downtown flower district on Wall between 7th and 8th early one Saturday, it’s one of the few parts of the city that actually smells nice and not like urine.



What did the pistil of the daisy say to the petal when it was about to fall off?

"Stay, man!"
A good stamen joke is hard to come by. Thanks Gorgeous.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Whale's Tail


The best time to go whale watching is usually in the summer. The whales get tired of their lousy local weather and come to Los Angeles for some fun in the sun. It’s kinda like spring break: the whales cruise around the ocean boulevards getting drunk, picking up on whale chicks (which whale biologists call Marys). As you can see from these pictures, we decided to go whale watching in late July, the late July of 1992 to be precise. Sure enough, thousands of whales came to have a gander at our red and green party boat. The Marys even flashed us their breasts in return for sea beads, those photos were too scandalous for my family spun blog here. But we did decide to feed them.

Now whales typically eat between 4-5 thousand chickens a day, but they will gladly substitute poultry for some pork chops, as long as they’re fresh. We had brought neither, woefully unprepared, luckily the boat sold CornNuts by the barrel and so we fed them that. It turns out whales LOVE CornNuts! Especially the sour cream and onion kind! We fed them for about an hour speaking to them in their native tongue: Portuguese which is close enough to Swahili that Danny could translate. As the sun went down we harpooned a couple of them and ate whale-burgers which surprisingly taste like jelly donuts.

What a day!

Monday, August 03, 2009

The Gorgeous Girl


For more than two and a half years I’ve had the privilege to love and to be loved by this most wonderful of women.


She’s my soul and my reason for breathing. I am truly the luckiest man in the world.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Floyd!


He’s dumb he’s scared
He’s thinking impaired
He’s always scratching an itch
He’s clumsy and shy
A really nice guy
Your favorite son of a bitch

He’s sweet and a punk
He fits in your trunk
And needs a punch in the face
He sleeps on your bed
Sheds on your head
To every owner’s disgrace

Floyd-o, Floyd-o
Makes me so annoyed-o
Floyd-o Floyd-o
No one knows he’s gay

Nobody knows he’s gay
He hopes to keep it this way
His secret is that he’s gay
You’ll love him anyway

Floyd-o!
New, from The Pound.










Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My Love


I have a beautiful girlfriend. I mean utterly gorgeous. And I won’t stop there, she’s brilliant. The only thing my talent comes second to, is hers.


She just had a birthday and I can’t stop thinking about her.


love love love, sweetheart.





Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Hot Tamale

MEAT
Boil meat with spices.

Spices: Chicken bullion, garlic powder, “Complete Seasoning”, “All Purpose w/o Pepper”

After cooking, save broth.

In a frying pan: mix olive oil, 2 tbsp (heaping) of flour. Cook till flour soaks up oil and becomes pasty. Add salsa (“Las Palmas: Red Chili Sauce). Bring salsa to boil and then add meat from above. Stir meat in until it is drenched in salsa. Salt to taste.

MASA
Crumble masa. Add 1 tsp (heaping) of baking powder. Melt shortening in microwave. Add 2tsp of salt. Mix shortening, chicken broth, and masa; blend till smooth.

Cake corn leaf with dough, add meat, add olive and fold. Steam for a couple of hours or until dough separates from leaf.