Hot Tamale

MEAT
Boil meat with spices.

Spices: Chicken bullion, garlic powder, “Complete Seasoning”, “All Purpose w/o Pepper”

After cooking, save broth.

In a frying pan: mix olive oil, 2 tbsp (heaping) of flour. Cook till flour soaks up oil and becomes pasty. Add salsa (“Las Palmas: Red Chili Sauce). Bring salsa to boil and then add meat from above. Stir meat in until it is drenched in salsa. Salt to taste.

MASA
Crumble masa. Add 1 tsp (heaping) of baking powder. Melt shortening in microwave. Add 2tsp of salt. Mix shortening, chicken broth, and masa; blend till smooth.

Cake corn leaf with dough, add meat, add olive and fold. Steam for a couple of hours or until dough separates from leaf.

Hwy 101

from the "8 Things that Hipsters Love About L.A. that Actually Suck" series

Here's how the call went:

Waiter (on phone): Cafe 101.
Me: Yeah I'd like to place an order for take out.
Waiter: *sigh*
Me: Okay I'd like a Denver omelette.
Waiter: We don't have Denver omelettes.
Me: What??
Waiter: I said we don't have Denver omelette. None of our omelettes have names, you just have to tell me what you want.
Me: Oh...um...okay, then I'd like some cheese, onion, avocado, tom-
Waiter: We don't have avocado.
Me: You don't?
Waiter: No. We Don't have avocado.
Me: This is California right?
Waiter: Look, what else do you want?
Me: I want you to go fuck your sister.

Let me tell you something about Cafe 101, the place sucks. Don't get me wrong, the food is average- but you will never, and I mean NEVER get service with a smile. I'm serious, it's like Jack Nicholson in Five Easy Pieces up in there. Sure, I know, you love it because Swingers was filmed there, or because it's a greasy spoon, or you're caught up in the Hollywood hype and you're a loser. Well none of those things make up for the wait staff- excuse me- failed actors who "attend" to you. I don't care what time of day it is, what you order, or who you are, you're gonna get treated like shit. And yet, there's still a line of ripped jeans and no socks, of Technicolor sunglasses, well-groomed mussed up hair and tight-fitting 70s style T-shirts hanging around outside smoking Camels and begging for a table.

Seriously, there are better places.

You want better service with a Holly-grunge flair- go to Fred 62's. Or better yet, ditch the hoi polloi hipster and go to Armon's in Eagle Rock. Hash browns that will blow your mind and all the avocado you can eat! No substitutions though.


photos from Highway 101 between Santa Cruz and Los Angeles.

Toe Who?

Okonomiyaki (Japanese-style savory pancakes)

Ingredients

• Dough
• 1.5 cups flour
• 7 oz. water

• 2 eggs
• Cabbage
• 1 package of firm tofu, cubed

• Possible ingredients to put into/onto Okonomiyaki
• Katsuobushi*: Dried, shaved benito (katsuo)
  
• Aonori*: Green, dried seaweed.
  
• Sauces
• Brown okonomiyaki sauce*
• Mayonnaise

Preparation

• Cut four large, green cabbage leaves without the hard, white core in thin strings (ca. 4 mm).
• Mix the water, flour, eggs and the cabbage strings together.
• Add the cubed tofu
• Fry the dough like a pancake in a small frying pan

• Before turning the okonomiyaki over, and while the dough is still quite soft, you may put other ingredients on top of the dough.
• 
  
• Turn the okonomiyaki.
• When fried well, serve the okonomiyaki with katsuobushi, aonori, mayonnaise and okonomiyaki sauce.