My Love

I have a beautiful girlfriend. I mean utterly gorgeous. And I won’t stop there, she’s brilliant. The only thing my talent comes second to, is hers.


She just had a birthday and I can’t stop thinking about her.

love love love, sweetheart.

Straight Talk

by b.b. cakes

Eddie Mars: Convenient, the door being open when you didn't have a key, eh?
Philip Marlowe: Yeah, wasn't it. By the way, how'd you happen to have one?
Eddie Mars: Is that any of your business?
Philip Marlowe: I could make it my business.
Eddie Mars: I could make your business mine.
Philip Marlowe: Oh, you wouldn't like it. The pay's too small.

Film Noir came to be around the mid 1940s or ‘50s in the form of Hollywood Cinema. They say it has strong roots in German Expressionist films, which, if you think about it is kind of odd considering it’s called Film Noir. Anyhow, maybe it’s this obvious shirking of its duty to pay some homage to the French, or the dearth of actors with anything-but-alabaster skin, but I never really got into this genre of film -- or literature.

General Sternwood: Do you like orchids?
Philip Marlowe: Not particularly.
General Sternwood: Ugh. Nasty things. Their flesh is too much like the flesh of men, and their perfume has the rotten sweetness of corruption.

So I think a great idea of a new genre of fiction would be detective capers that have only people of color in them. It makes sense really, when you think of it. Who better than brown and black people to solve crimes -- I mean, we’re the ones committing them, right? Might as well capitalize off the stereotype and innovate a new genre of movies & literature. And I’m not talking the Ice-T sidekick in Law & Order neither.

General Sternwood: How do you like your brandy, sir?
Philip Marlowe: In a glass.

Several things would have to change though:
1.) The films couldn’t be in black and white, for obvious reasons. The heroine’s pale, ivory-like skin wouldn’t exist to inspire lust in the hard-boiled detective. Hmm…how to solve this?
2.) Vice of choice couldn’t be alcohol; while brandy is delicious, it’s not what we do.
3.) The constant verbal banter and metaphorical language would frustrate the hell out of us. We believe in straight talk.

Carmen Sternwood: You're cute.
Philip Marlowe: I'm getting cuter every minute.
Carmen Sternwood: Is he as cute as you are?
Philip Marlowe: Nobody is.

And our version of exotic might be a little different.

Carmen Sternwood: You're cute. I like you.
Philip Marlowe: Yeah, what you sees nothing, I got a Balinese dancing girl tattooed across my chest.

Overall, I think we could do a pretty good job of carrying out the vision that Raymond Chandler had when he was chronicling his protagonist’s discovery of Los Angeles’ underbelly. It might be a bit more colorful and the crimes & crime-solving process a bit more straightforward, but we could definitely pull it off. My only question is, would people pay for a $60 bus tour and listen to a guide all day long to admire our dark brilliance? Perhaps if there was gelato involved.

High King

from the "8 Things that Hipsters Don't Do In L.A. That Are Really Awesome" series


Griffith Park has four golf courses, a driving range, an outdoor auditorium, an observatory, a zoo, a train museum, fancy rich houses, a cemetery (sort of), a café, AND, the bat cave. Not to mention, deer, coyotes, bats, and occasionally a cougar.



Not the least of cool things inside this park are miles and miles of hiking trails. And it’s not like that trendy below-hipster Runyon Canyon either. Seriously, who hikes in makeup? And I’ve had enough of toy dogs thank you. Griffith Park’s hikes can be anything, be part of the observatory hike crowd or start off alone at the Bronson Caves and climb to the top. If you like to rub it in to those traffic chumps heading off to work while you’re busy chilling on a ditch day, hike the east side with trails complete with Freeway 5 overlooks. Or, for an extra special cool hiking experience go for a night hike with a group.

Oh and before you ask, take Beachwood Ave. to the Hollywood Sign.

Seriously?

McCain is running the silliest campaign I've ever heard of. This isn't an election for student body president, it's to become the leader of the free world! You can't pull bullshit like this; it's weak and it's lame. And if McCain's campaign is representative of his would be presidency, well then really, how could we even entertain the idea of voting this man into office?

Having said all that I got's to get me one of them tire pressure gauges. How cool would one of those be?

War!

If you haven’t heard by now, even the prime minister of Iraq, Nouri al-Maliki, is calling withdrawal of American troops by early 2010.

In an interview with Der Speigel magazine, he said: "US presidential candidate Barack Obama talks about 16 months. That, we think, would be the right time frame for a withdrawal."

None too soon as far as I’m concerned. These photos were taken in late November so the numbers are wrong. The combat death toll as of this post is actually 4,131.